Tuesday, March 5, 2013

It's a Beautiful Day in the [Neighbor]Hood

Kim and I reside in a condo just west of downtown Cincinnati, in Lower Price Hill. Some people have taken to calling our neighborhood The Incline District, most likely to make the area sound better than what it actually is. To be perfectly honest, our neighborhood leaves little to be desired. I will give the city credit though – they are working diligently to try and get the place cleaned up. The problem is that most people living in this area don’t give a shit. Many of Price Hill’s inhabitants are often inconsiderate, and somewhat lacking in the pride and compassion departments. Just as soon as something is restored, it’s back to piss poor condition soon after. Let’s take the Price Hill Kroger Market Place, for example. Kim and I made a bet as to when that brand new facility would be destroyed; it only took about a month and a half. I’m still hopeful, though. With the demolishment of an outdated viaduct and the rebuilding of a new one, perhaps LPH finally has some potential.

I would like to point out that the condo community isn’t nearly as bad as the rest of the area. If anything, we have the best view on the property and it could even be argued, one of the best in the city. My general rule of thumb is that as long as I'm not forced to venture to the top of the hill, I'm golden.

View From Upstairs Balcony

There are a few issues, though. About a week and a half ago, Kim and I were walking our two small dogs at around 11:15 pm. We stumbled across - not one, but two - sets of prostitutes in front of the wooded area near dumpsters where pet owners are required to walk their pets. These prostitutes were, of course, performing lewd acts right in our parking lot. Kim, noticing a head pop up, immediately ran to the first car, knocked on the passenger side window and yelled, alright, time to goyou gotta go…you can't be up here.

Neither of us actually saw the other car that was parked just one spot over until it sped off rights as Kim and I were discussing the first violators.

Unfortunately, these episodes happen on a pretty regular basis. Kim and I are constantly finding needles, chicken wing bones, and used condoms (gross) in the rear of the property. It’s no secret that prostitution (in addition to blatant drug activity) runs rampant on West Eighth Street, just at the bottom of the hill. Our condo is a twenty-second trek for girls to get picked up, park the car, and conduct their "business." And while the recent addition of two sturdy Private Property signs now permits District 3 to ticket violators, it certainly doesn’t deter these people from constantly entering the property illegally.

There has been chatter around our community regarding the installation of video surveillance cameras. Almost everyone is on the same page with the project, and most of us agree that these cameras would seriously help in eliminating a lot of the illegal activity that goes on at night. The catch is that, as in all walks of life, there is always that one difficult person - the one who chooses to be difficult in almost every instance. 

Our condo association board is no different. One troublemaker is pulling out all the stops to keep the installation of the cameras from happening, including adding even more fuel to the fire with blatant rumors. But she doesn’t have to deal with the prostitutes, the lewd acts, and the safety concerns, does she? To hell with us dog-owners, right?

There is a meeting this week in regards to this project. Until then, I guess I’ll just have to wait and see where this one goes.

For more entertainment, go to Kim's blog: http://kimesherwood.blogspot.com

Photo Taken By Kim E Sherwood

1 comment:

  1. You should ALWAYS consult me before moving to Price Hill....ALWAYS!! I grew up in South Fairmount/Price Hill area....you may remember me discussing it in my stand-up. I'm so happy for you and Kim though. Kim is one of the funniest people that I have met in my entire life. (you aren't too shabby either) Also, let me know when you two feel like taking a trip to Minneapolis....you got a place to stay.